I feel like being a mom and a partner to J has left a big chunk of my true self inadvertently hidden. I try to accept (even as I fight to change it) that I live in a heterosexist society. People are going to assume that as a mother in an opposite-sex relationship that I'm a straight-identified woman. This in turn leads entirely too many of them to say innapropriate, homophobic things in front of me and - consequently - Dav. I have no problem letting people know how ignorant and stupid they sound in these cases and how utterly offensive I find them. I don't mind setting the record, ahem, straight about my ambivalence towards gender. I just hate thinking that my kid is going to be exposed to this so often.
I tend toward introversion; I don't have any desire to walk around with a sign over my head proclaiming any personal information about me. I hate when strangers out in public want to talk to me about Dav (and who doesn't like talking about their kid?), so I certainly don't want to discuss my personal life or orientation with them. I want my daughter to grow up thinking of sexual and gender identity as non-issues, just another unique piece in the puzzle of what makes a person an individual.
Just because I can sometimes look at someone and see they're clearly one ethnicity doesn't give me free rein to say bad things about any other ethnicity to them. So why do so many feel it's ok to do that when they assume something about another's orientation. Since no one can look at another person and know for sure their sexual identity, why would anyone think it's okay to say derogatory things about any sexual identity, ever?
How about the fact that it's just plain rude and bad manners. I don't walk around saying negative, horrible things in mixed company about anyone else's religion/politics/etc. (Admittedly, I save that for 'preaching to the choir' scenarios in the privacy of my own home!)
Ok, I feel better, just had to get that down...
I tend toward introversion; I don't have any desire to walk around with a sign over my head proclaiming any personal information about me. I hate when strangers out in public want to talk to me about Dav (and who doesn't like talking about their kid?), so I certainly don't want to discuss my personal life or orientation with them. I want my daughter to grow up thinking of sexual and gender identity as non-issues, just another unique piece in the puzzle of what makes a person an individual.
Just because I can sometimes look at someone and see they're clearly one ethnicity doesn't give me free rein to say bad things about any other ethnicity to them. So why do so many feel it's ok to do that when they assume something about another's orientation. Since no one can look at another person and know for sure their sexual identity, why would anyone think it's okay to say derogatory things about any sexual identity, ever?
How about the fact that it's just plain rude and bad manners. I don't walk around saying negative, horrible things in mixed company about anyone else's religion/politics/etc. (Admittedly, I save that for 'preaching to the choir' scenarios in the privacy of my own home!)
Ok, I feel better, just had to get that down...