redkitchenette

 
 
   With Dav so embracing her routine, it's got me thinking about stability. My little girl is happiest knowing exactly what's coming next and what to expect from her day. I wish I could give her that on a bigger scale. It's frustrating as a parent to know that the rug could come out from under your kid at any time.
   I tend to be most content when my possessions are at a minimum and my situation is steady. I don't like my life being cluttered with too many material things, but I live with someone who places a pretty high value on stuff. Our apartment, which isn't tiny by any means, is overflowing. We seem to constantly be accumulating more and more. Not all of it is our doing, as we have wonderful, generous families who like to get things for us and for Dav that we aren't able to on our own. I'm extremely grateful for this, because I wouldn't ever want my daughter to go without, but it's starting to feel a little bit all-consuming.
   Before I got knocked up, I was completely satisfied to live shift-to-shift (as I've always had jobs where it was more about cash in hand than a paycheck). I never did buy much, except for thrift store clothes, books, and kitchen gear. Even so, I would purge at least twice a year and get rid of most of it because I'm just not one to hold on to things. Now I live in a sea of toys, clothes, very large furniture, electronics and knick knacks. My six month old has way more toys than she'll ever have time to play with, clothes with tags still on it that she is already to big for, and half a million keepsakes that we'll probably never do anything with. J has more clothing, dvds, and wires (to who knows what) than any sane person should and the most giant pieces of furniture I have ever encountered.  Not to mention eight million chotchkies (which I am zealously NOT a fan of). I have an abundance of books, as well as too many cake pans, whisks, and clothes that don't fit.
   My physical space feels so out of balance with all of these things around. I don't understand how this mountain of stuff can keep growing while our security and situation don't get any better. I think that is an inversely proportionate relationship, and it needs to start heading in the other direction. I need less stuff, more stability. 
   I wish I knew how to get there.
 


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