redkitchenette

 
 
   I'm sitting here thinking about this time last year, and how it seems a lifetime ago. I had a big giant belly (but no stretch marks yet), a beautiful nursery (that we never used), my birth plan all written (which said nothing about a call to 911 or slicing open my hoo-ha), and a firm idea of what kind of mother I would be (which has remarkably little to do with the kind of mother I am). I would sit for hours watching the little alien in my belly roll and kick and punch my abdomen into wonky shapes. I would walk, do squats and pelvic rocks, and kegel like a crazy woman every day. I fantasized about regaining my pre-baby body and a freezer full of breastmilk for mommy-and-daddy date nights. I felt ready for anything and ready to revel in the bliss of motherhood and my own little family.
   I was so unaware of what was coming that it's really sort of funny...
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   Now I know what it means to be a mother. Well, I know what it means to be a mother to my particular 10 month old at least, and I'm pretty knowledgeable about the research and expert opinion surrounding everything else. I've settled into my new mommy skin. I cherish the marks on my body left from the last weeks of pregnancy; each line a mark on the map of my journey to motherhood, the wider hips and heavier breasts physical evidence of a body that grew and continues to nourish another human being. I embrace our family bed, even when it means getting kicked repeatedly or peed on in the middle of the night, because it means I get to wake up every single day looking into the two faces I love most in this world. I am grateful for my beautiful, eventful birth experience because my trust in my power as a woman has grown exponentially, as has my trust in the power of other women to act as guardians of the birth process (even when things go off course). I still sit for hours watching my little bear kick, roll, and punch my belly -- she just does it from the outside now. I accepted early on that I do not respond well to a pump and my daughter does not want to take a bottle, and I haven't really wanted to be away from her even for just a few hours.
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   Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!
 


Comments

Jason
05/09/2010 11:44

Happy Mothers Day Beki I love you!

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01/25/2012 15:03

will return soon

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01/28/2012 08:37

Great info, thanks

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03/21/2012 17:31

Nice one info, thanks

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03/26/2012 16:27

THX for info

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05/14/2012 08:25

good post

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09/07/2012 14:53

Great info, thx

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